Everyone on The Idol Has the Most Atrocious Hair
There’s already a lot going wrong with The Idol—the stale portrayal of rape culture, the boring pop songs, the lack of any intriguing characters. But we need to talk about the worst aspect of the show so far. Why is everyone’s hair so unreasonably ugly?
Exhibit A: I love seeing Hari Nef in a project. She was a ball of rage and comedic relief in Assassination Nation, her first collaboration with The Idol creator Sam Levinson. She looks like a ginger goddess in Barbie, out in July. But it pains me to say that she has perhaps the worst redhead haircut—and, as a strawberry blonde, I’ve had plenty of bad haircuts—in ginger history.
Nef stars as Talia, a Vanity Fair reporter profiling superstar Jocelyn (Lily-Rose Depp), the lead of the show. Her auburn hair is trimmed into one of the shortest bob cuts ever, ending right above her jawline. Bobs should be a blunt cut, unless they’re with curly hair—but Talia has a few random layers that look like orangey pieces of string cheese hanging down from her scalp. Similarly distinctive, Claire’s “French” haircut in Fleabag made more stylistic sense than this hairdo, which also features a dramatic side part. Give Talia some bangs, at least!
But Talia is lower on the leaderboard for The Idol’s worst hair. She’s joined down there by star Rachel Sennott, whose hair isn’t so awful, but it still needs some tweaking. Sennott plays Leia, Jocelyn’s frazzled assistant (and best friend), inarguably the best character in the show at the moment. Though it makes sense for her character, who is so clearly trying to fit in, Leia’s straightened hair feels like an odd choice for this actress. Sennott has such beautiful curls—either naturally or styled. Let those curls roll.
Still, Talia and Leia’s looks are forgivable. At least haircuts both say something about their characters. Talia, a journalist, is trying to make a statement with her hair, because journalists can’t make a statement elsewhere. (Levinson’s stance on journalism has always been anti, especially in this show, which compares having the reporter around to being in “communist China.”) Leia wants to have sleek hair like Jocelyn, who is a powerful “it girl” in her life.
But Leia’s desire is a little wonky, considering Jocelyn has the most unforgivable ’do on the show. Depp’s hair isn’t all that terrible to look at. It’s stick-straight—burned into curls—with dusty waves of brunette and dyed blonde streaks. The stringy strands are in need of a good washing; perhaps some dry shampoo would help. But these are average problems, ones I can’t really judge. But they’re so average, in fact, that I would never expect a huge celebrity to allow her hair to look like this.
Almost every pop star I can name right now has larger-than-life hair, making me envious of their glistening, non-frizzy manes. Taylor Swift flaunts her big blonde curls on nearly every album cover—or, at least, more recently, silky straightened hair that is still thick and healthy. Ariana Grande has high ponies that are as strong as a whip. Billie Eilish has hair of ever-changing colors. Beyoncé’s hair looks like liquid gold, while she flips it around on her Renaissance tour. Harry Styles may or may not have a wig—either way, his hair is gorgeous.
I’m not the only one who’s noticed this. I’ve been thinking about this specific tweet since I watched the show last night. “I simply do not buy that that woman is a pop star because pop stars have huge hair,” the tweet reads. “that girlie’s hair is limp. not a pop star! she needs big hair.” Exactly.
All this, and we haven’t even gotten to The Idol’s worst hairstyle of them all: that of The Weeknd, aka Abel Tesfaye, who plays the “rapey”-seeming club owner Tedros. Jocelyn falls for Tedros because of his rattail, which inspires the episode title, “Pop Tarts & Rat Tales.” A double entendre! Levinson is a genius. (Kidding.) Jocelyn is clearly a masochist, getting turned on by choking herself, as she masturbates earlier in the episode—but is she really self-hating enough to be attracted to a man with a rattail?
No words can properly describe how ugly this hairstyle is. It’s as though Tedros has a dark charger plugged into his neck, as if he’s a robot that can’t comprehend human society, and the tail is the wired cord connecting him to his metallic homeworld. The rattail is even ickier than what you might pull out of your shower drain, after a month of leaving wet globs of curls to fester in old water. The Idol seems to believe Jocelyn is a cat, ready to pounce and dig her claws into that rattail—when really, one look at Tedros’ horrendous hair would have her hissing, as she ran away in fear.
A show can feature characters with bad hair. I do not fault The Idol for giving the cast a bunch of uninspiring hairdos. But when a series is all about big-name celebrities and sex appeal, you’d think that everyone’s style as a whole would be to die for. Unfortunately, after watching The Idol, the only thing I wanted to do with my own hair was scrub it with shampoo and massage in a hair mask, to be sure I didn’t have limp waves like Jocelyn.
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